Have you ever been in a situation where someone points out a fault of yours and it makes you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed? I know I have.
When observing successful people, I have noticed that they often have a way of turning these uncomfortable situations to their benefit. I am struggling for the exact name of this technique, but it is that the person, instead of trying to hide or ignore the fault, they accentuate it. Like, "It's not a bug, it's a feature" or "If you can't hide it or fix it then feature it." Let me give you an example.
Zig Ziglar was approached by one of the members of his audience who said, in a disapproving voice "I hear you get paid well for those fancy speeches you make." Zig's response was "Mama, where did you hear that vicious rumour. That is absolutely incorrect. I do not get paid well, I get paid exceptionally well."
Do you see how Zig did not try and ignore or lessen the accusation? Instead of saying something like "Well, I earn it because of the value I provide" or "I don't get paid so much compared to others". I can clearly see how neither of these methods are as powerful as not only agreeing with what we are being accused of, but making it even bigger.
I have also seen this in business negotiations before. I have seen a successful person, if they are buying something and have reached their bottom price which they believe to be reasonable and the seller continues to ask for more money, the buyer, instead of raising their price to meet the seller will start to lower their offer and tell the seller clearly that if they want to make the deal they had better act fast because the price will continue to go down.
I am proud that I was just able to use this technique. I was involved with a business negotiation and the other party asked for more money. Instead of trying to justify my current offer as per the contract, I agreed with them and said that I was also willing to ignore the contract and take more money for myself, though I suggested to be fair, we follow the contract.
I want to reinforce this behavior that when someone points out something that is intended to be a negative judgement of me, that instead of being defensive or disagreeing with the person, I try to find a way to agree with the person and accentuate what they are noticing to my benefit.
When observing successful people, I have noticed that they often have a way of turning these uncomfortable situations to their benefit. I am struggling for the exact name of this technique, but it is that the person, instead of trying to hide or ignore the fault, they accentuate it. Like, "It's not a bug, it's a feature" or "If you can't hide it or fix it then feature it." Let me give you an example.
Zig Ziglar was approached by one of the members of his audience who said, in a disapproving voice "I hear you get paid well for those fancy speeches you make." Zig's response was "Mama, where did you hear that vicious rumour. That is absolutely incorrect. I do not get paid well, I get paid exceptionally well."
Do you see how Zig did not try and ignore or lessen the accusation? Instead of saying something like "Well, I earn it because of the value I provide" or "I don't get paid so much compared to others". I can clearly see how neither of these methods are as powerful as not only agreeing with what we are being accused of, but making it even bigger.
I have also seen this in business negotiations before. I have seen a successful person, if they are buying something and have reached their bottom price which they believe to be reasonable and the seller continues to ask for more money, the buyer, instead of raising their price to meet the seller will start to lower their offer and tell the seller clearly that if they want to make the deal they had better act fast because the price will continue to go down.
I am proud that I was just able to use this technique. I was involved with a business negotiation and the other party asked for more money. Instead of trying to justify my current offer as per the contract, I agreed with them and said that I was also willing to ignore the contract and take more money for myself, though I suggested to be fair, we follow the contract.
I want to reinforce this behavior that when someone points out something that is intended to be a negative judgement of me, that instead of being defensive or disagreeing with the person, I try to find a way to agree with the person and accentuate what they are noticing to my benefit.
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