Blog Archives

Toastmasters

9/13/2012

I read another positive experience with Toastmasters so I decided to just do a little more research about how it might be possible to fit this into my schedule.

It turns out that there are clubs that meet during the week at lunchtime, so those would be perfect for me. It looks like there is still some time in my schedule to fit this in.

I've also been thinking about how I want to find some time to spend more time developing a business, probably an online business, or even the success coaching business. Right now M-F is pretty much filled from waking to sleeping. There is probably 1 or 2 hours that I could squeeze in there, though haven't found anything consistent now without taking something out of my schedule.

That would mean, either less time doing my current employment or less time with my family. So far, I would prefer to find a different way. I do have the weekends, and possibly the morning on the weekends I could spend some time. I could also spend less time in the morning writing this blog and reading about personal development.

7 Comments

Digging up the seeds of success

9/12/2012

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How long does it take to succeed? Have you been doing the "right" thing and still aren't seeing the rewards? Do you figure all this self help and personal development talk is bogus because it's not working for you?

Think about if you want to grow some fruits and vegetables to eat because you are hungry. One of the first things you might do is to plant some seeds in the ground. You can think of this like positive thinking and goal setting. Do most farmers put one seed in the ground and then just walk away? My mom used to grow vegetables in a patch of ground outside our house and I know she would put in many seeds.

Think of your mind as that patch of ground. Put in several positive thoughts and goals. Now our brain is different than growing a plant in that we will have to continue to regularly put thought positive thoughts and goals in our minds to keep them there.

Once you have the seeds in the ground, would you dig them up after one month if nothing is happening or might you be patient? It will of course depend on the plant. Some plants grow fast and I've heard that some can take years to grow. The same for the positive ideas. Some of them may show results quickly and others will take time. If you dig up the plant or stop reinforcing the positive ideas, you are killing the seedling.

Be patient. Continue to fill your mind with positive thoughts. Listen to various different positive sources about success and happiness. Continue to take actions, even small actions, on a regular basis that will improve your life and the life of the ones you love

5 Comments

Self-Esteem

9/11/2012

8 Comments

It's hard to be involved in the self improvement or self help community and not hear discussions about self esteem. It makes sense that being happy with myself is a good path towards being successful and happy. What does Zig Ziglar say, "Business is never good or bad 'out there', it's only good or bad 'in here' (meaning in your mind)."

There are plenty of books and material about self esteem. I think they have great advice. Some of the key concepts are "Do first, feel second." So if you say you have self esteem, instead of trying to find some magic pill that will give you self esteem, then you will be able to do things, first do the thing and the self esteem will follow.

This advice to "Do first, feel second" seems completely logical to me, and it is simple, which I do like simple things, it's sure isn't easy. It is important for me to remind myself that those areas in my life that I feel uncomfortable and maybe even unsuccessful, I can try doing more in those areas in order to develop that ability and to feel more comfortable.

Think about the things and areas where you are comfortable. Was there a time, maybe many years ago, when you were not as good as you are now in that area? Do you think that the person you were many years ago may have felt uncomfortable or unsuccessful trying to do the things that you can now do relatively easily? How did you learn to do these things easily? Was it possibly from experience and maybe from learning?

How about we use this in a manner under our control?

Now on the other side of the argument, I often think about weight loss, since it is a well discussed topic in American. I'm pretty sure there are many overweight people that have lots of knowledge about how to lose weight. They have seen many work out advertisements, healthy products, weight lost company ads, so they may already have lots of information and access to information. They probably have tried many different ways to lose weight and they still struggle with it.

Is the advice for these people to try harder? Try more weight loss programs, purchase more exercise products or classes? Maybe there is some more fundamental shift that is required. I had a friend that lost a lot of weight with the help of Overeaters Anonymous. Despite the religious overtones of the program and the fact that this friend is an Atheist, she still found the overall message and program helpful. Is a support group critical to develop success?

I agree with the idea of self-esteem and confidence being important. I still have some open issues about what universal advice people can use to effectively achieve these goals.

8 Comments

Stop saying "I'm sorry".

9/10/2012

9 Comments

I don't know where I got the idea, but for many years, I have had the idea that saying "I'm sorry" was an excuse for bad behavior. From my perspective it was a way for people to get away with doing something wrong and then expecting to reduce the consequences. Instead of being sorry, doesn't it make more sense to stop doing the behavior or compensate the other person for the transgression?

I understand many people view this an in impersonal perspective of human relationships. Let's say I say something that makes you upset. My belief is that it is more rational for me to say something like "I understand what I said upset you and I will work to say things in a different way to avoid upsetting you." This is at least an attempt to prevent this from happening again. I know from experience, that in reality, things go along much better if I say "I'm sorry" and don't worry about the behavior. I can do the behavior again and use again "I'm sorry" and things get better much faster.

Of course, if you are always saying "I'm sorry" that isn't good, though it is a little magic pill that most people are taught to accept to make themselves feel better. On the other side of this, besides no liking to say "I'm sorry", it doesn't mean much to me when somebody says it to me. Why would I care that they are sorry? Does that change what they did? It makes more sense to me that they realize what they did and if necessary, compensate me for what happened, or profess to try to prevent doing it again.

What is "I'm sorry" supposed to accomplish? I don't get it, though I do use it to smooth over relationships because I know that people like to hear those magic words.

9 Comments

Inspiration

9/9/2012

6 Comments

Who inspires you? I am inspired by Steve Pavlina. Why?

Well, probably first of all because I enjoy reading what he has to say and the ideas he shares. He strikes me as someone who is being honest. There are some things that he writes about that I don't necessarily agree with, though I like his approach. I like how he covers all sorts of different topics like how to get up early in the morning, polyphasic sleeping, diet and exercise, blogging for profit and just in general how to be successful and happy.

Without maybe being able to specifically saying why it is, I would say I can relate to him. Maybe, because he seems to come from a technical background, writing computer software, and now working in the personal development area.

Let's also be clear that I believe that he is telling the truth when he earns several $100,000 in profit from his activities. This is also a key for me, that not only is he talking about this stuff, though he is making a good living and able to support his family in a lifestyle that he likes.

Today I read this article. This is another great article talking about how he failed for 5 years before he was able to start being successful. This sure seems to be a common story among successful people about how they had to fail before being successful. A key lesson I take away form this article is that if we focus on what we can get, that it is hard to get that stuff. If instead, we focus on what we can give, that we will get more than we need.

I admit that in many cases, I do focus on what I can get. It just seems natural. If I don't focus on providing for myself, then who will? Even why I watch successful people, they also focus on getting stuff for themselves. You don't think that Warren Buffett goes into negotiations and just thinks about what he can give away, I assure you that he also has a clear plan about how he will benefit. I think the key thing is that instead of thinking 100% about what we get, how about at least think 50% about what we can give? Or maybe even 60% what we can give others and 40% about what we can get?

Steve's article expresses the idea that you can do 100% giving and the receiving will follow. For some people, that may work. I do totally agree with him that we should be passionate about what we are doing and let that drive us. I can be passionate about writing this blog, like writing this article, I enjoy writing it and thinking about how I can find places to give more in my current projects.

How about changing our money goals from thinking about how much we can make into how we can give value? So instead of saying, "Why do I make $100,000/yr?" say "Why do I provide $100,000/yr of value?"

6 Comments

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Toastmasters

Digging up the seeds of success

Self-Esteem

Stop saying "I'm sorry".

Inspiration

Blogroll

Steve Hubbard

Archives

Categories

List of Articles

Thoughts on Success
Thoughts on Happiness

Toastmasters

Digging up the seeds of success

Self-Esteem

Stop saying "I'm sorry".

Inspiration

Blogroll

Steve Hubbard

Archives

Categories

List of Articles

Thoughts on SuccessThoughts on Happiness

Thoughts on Success
Thoughts on Happiness